Not All the Songs
by chezchuckles
Summary: All the songs that don't make sense. A series of stand-alone one-shots with a common theme - the lyrics to catchy if inane chart-topping songs. AKA - Castle figures out that romancing a woman with Usher is not the way to go. Post-Always timeline, no season 5 information.
1. Chapter 1

**Not All the Songs**

* * *

**Scream**

* * *

"I don't think going with hip-hop lyrics written by Usher is exactly the way to romance _anyone_, Castle."

He winces again and flops back in bed, staring up at her ceiling. "It was supposed to be funny."

"It just sounds arrogant and a little bit misogynistic."

"Arg. That sucks. Cock-blocked by Usher. Who knew?"

She chuckles at that, which is a relief really, because the look on her face when he actually did whisper in her ear that he wanted to take off all her clothes and-

Uh, yeah. Not happy.

"Somehow Usher doesn't strike me as the best tool to seal the deal," she murmurs, but she nudges her knee into his thigh and lies on her side looking at him.

He turns his head to study her. She seems okay, smirking at him in the back of her eyes even as she exudes a dangerous (and alluring) _hands off._

"I ruined the mood," he states.

"You did."

"You think we can get it back?"

A slim eyebrow. "Not so much."

"Damn."

She reaches out and pats his bicep with a hand, fingers curling almost thoughtlessly. Let it be thoughtless, please, because he's severely uncomfortable here and if she's doing it on purpose, it is just too cruel. Soft fingers on his skin, stroking-

"I - uh - gonna take a shower," he mutters, moving to swing his legs out of her bed.

She squeezes his arm but lets him go.

He sighs and heads for her bathroom.

* * *

He's attempting to take it like a man, really he is, standing in the bone-crackingly cold water, gritting his teeth, but it's really not working.

The problem is - he still thinks it's funny. And the words aren't sexy, no, okay, he'll admit that. But she is. And he's in her apartment, sleeping at her side for most nights since his daughter is at college, and-

Okay, well there. Daughter. Alexis.

He gives a sigh of relief and shuts off the water, shakes his hair, scrapes his hand through it as he pushes open the shower door.

A bright purple towel is resting on the lid of the toilet for him; she must have come in and placed it here, taken care of him. At least that's one need she's-

Whoa, okay. Back off.

What did he think? That Beckett wouldn't be prickly just because they're having sex? Right. She requires a subtle approach, a deft touch; he knows that.

Or an outright assault. Yeah, that's fun too. Mm...

As she said, Usher lyrics aren't the best idea. Strike out, that's what it was. Honestly, hip-hop songs are so catchy that he barely pays attention to the words. Really. He just enjoys the beat, finds himself singing along.

Okay, so maybe telling Kate that the way her body sprawls next to him reminds him of an Usher song, and then repeating the lyrics that are - by far- some of the most ridiculous and also degrading. . .

Not smart.

Long day today. Hard case. Still unsolved, and Kate brought him home with her when he really expected her to want to crawl into a dark, secluded spot and leave him to his own devices. So she had expectations for tonight, definitely, and he only made it all the more frustrating, and maybe she just wanted him to shut up and make love to her like he usually does, slowly and with great relish.

Oh, yeah, he's frustrated - but she is too.

He'd like to make it up to her, but she's probably right. Go to bed, hold each other, try again tomorrow.

She _is_ a morning person.

* * *

He keeps talking. He just doesn't shut up.

"Castle," she moans, not sure if it's the talking or the vibrations of his words against her or just what he's doing right _there_, oh yes-

"I mean," he pauses, thumbs sweeping at her thighs. "Really. It's not fair."

She arches under him, breathless with it, grateful in some secret place that he didn't let this go, that he came back from his shower determined to get to her-

"You said yourself that _all the songs make sense,_" he continues, like he's having a conversation.

She opens her eyes wide, tries to breathe past the things he's doing to her.

"Well now we know that's not true."

His fingers slide to help and she makes a noise she doesn't even know - can't even stop - mewling or keening or sobbing for him to just-

"Not all the songs make sense. Even if you are in love. Some songs are just stupid."

He finishes it, and her body bows, her hands clutching him, her pleasure fast and tight and hard and surprising-

"Oh wait. Never mind. I actually did make you scream. Point for Usher."

She pants, lying back, presses her hand to her forehead.

She is so wiping that smirk off his face.

Next time. For now-


	2. Chapter 2

**Milkshake**

* * *

"What is this?" he mutters, holding up the glass.

"Kale. Try it."

"Ew, gross. No. Why's it greenish brown?"

She rolls her eyes at him, moving in his kitchen towards the sink, the blender's pitcher in her hand. "Because it's kale, Castle. I put some blueberries, banana, vitamin supplements, a little vanilla yogurt. So it's actually-"

"Still looks like baby poop."

"Don't knock it till you try it," she shoots back, rinsing out the blender and leaving it in the sink. "It's a good start to the day-"

"I'm not drinking your leprechaun milkshake," he mutters. "Kale? That's not for humans. That's for whales."

"It's not plankton." She rolls her eyes at him and snatches the glass out of his hand. "If you don't want it, then leave mine alone." As she drinks it down, his eyes bug out, like he can't believe she's actually drinking it.

"You went running," he notes. "Did you use the punching bag until your knuckles were swollen? Or do stadium steps to the Rocky theme song? Bench press three times your-"

She smacks him in the shoulder, takes another long sip of her milkshake. He makes a face and rubs at the muscle, wincing at her.

She smirks. "Looks like someone should've gotten up with me and done a little training of his own."

"If you're talking about sex, then I wholeheartedly concur."

Kate clamps her teeth on the glass to keep from laughing; she's not going to encourage that kind of juvenile response.

"I'm not talking about sex. I'm talking about being fit enough to run down a suspect, Big Bad Wolf."

"Are you insinuating that I huff and puff?" he asks, lifting an eyebrow, but looking proud. Literary analogies - even from fairy tales - will do it for him every time - and she kinda like it.

At his half-smirk, she half-shrugs. "You said it, not me. Plus, you know, just wanna make sure you can keep up, Castle."

His eyes turn dark, instantly aroused, and he steps closer, fingers coming around the glass in her hand. "Trap more flies with honey."

She lets him think he's won her, seduced her, lets her body cant into his and her eyes get heavy, and then she bumps him with her hips. "Who says I need honey?"

He hums in a kind of agreement and leans down, snags her lips with his, immediately presses his tongue to the seam of her mouth. She opens for him, that slow slide of his intrusion, but in an instant he's jumping back, face screwed up.

"Ug, that is nasty. It tastes like a men's locker room. Why are you drinking that?"

"It's good for you. Now leave me alone if you're not interested. Let me get ready for work." She pushes past him, heading for the shower, the glass still in hand. She made extra, but she's not wasting it on him; she'll leave it in the fridge and have it tomorrow.

If she's even here tomorrow. It'd show him if she decides to go home, back to some peace and quiet.

Kate places the glass on the bathroom counter, starts the water running, then strips off her workout clothes. Her sports bra isn't even over her head when hands circle her waist, a warm body meets hers.

"I'm ready for my training," he murmurs, his mouth open at her neck.

She shivers and reaches blindly for the shower door, her back arching at his touch. "Come on then," she breathes out, dragging him inside with her. "Let's get you in shape."

* * *

"I bet not even _Ryan_ would drink that poison." Castle says it loudly as they step off the elevator, just so Ryan will hear most likely. "And we all know Ryan drinks all kinds of weird stuff in the quest for whipped-ness."

"Ryan probably already drinks it and he's just too chicken to tell us," Esposito pipes up, falling into step with them from the break room.

"You don't even know what we're talking about," Kate growls.

"I know enough," he shrugs.

Castle fist bumps with him and then Ryan stands at his desk as they enter the bullpen. "I do what?"

"Kale milkshakes-"

"Oh, nasty. No."

Castle turns and gives her a triumphant look. "See? No one likes your disgusting milkshakes, Beckett. Stop trying to force feed them on me."

She turns away from him, regards the traitorous Ryan. "Where are we on the warrant?"

"It's a no. Judge said the city already gets into with the club owner enough - he can't sign off on a fishing expedition."

Kate sighs, rubs her forehead. "Well, let's think of a way around it, guys."

A long and heavy silence greets her words, and then Castle smirks at her.

"Kale milkshake isn't doing a bit of good, is it?"

She glares, her coffee cup of his sinfully delicious home blend the only thing keeping her from hitting him again.

* * *

"I don't think this is a good idea," Ryan says hesitantly.

Kate shrugs at him. "What else is left? I'll change, we'll all go. You boys in the van, and Castle-"

His eyes come up to hers, attentive and eager, just as she knew they would be. Sexy dress, his hands on her in the night club, the press of her ass against him as she checks out their target. . .

"You're with me," she grins, feeling dangerous.

* * *

Kate runs the eyeliner dark and heavy, uses the volumizing mascara, teases her hair to give that bed-tumbled look. Kinda the way it looked this morning. She's made Castle wait in the van because she knows he wouldn't control himself even if he could and she's still unable to control herself at all even if she wanted to, and so she changed alone in her apartment.

Same look as before - black lace, tight skirt. Her top is wickedly sheer, the hint of darkness and light over her skin that accentuates everything. She dabs concealer on the scar and adjusts the bodice again, but the club is a lot of shadows and neon and black light, so it won't be obvious. Plus, of course, there's the vast amounts of cleavage it gives her.

Kate grins in the mirror, makes sure her bra is visible, and turns to grab her clutch from the bed. She straps her gun at her thigh, and then heads downstairs.

They're all three loitering outside the van, Castle taller and his eyes already on the lookout for her as the boys toss off some dirty joke. He's smiling at it, the beginnings of a laugh on his lips when he sees her.

She lets the smirk loose at the dumbstruck, slack-jawed appeal of him, saunters her way to the boys.

She carefully notes the angle of their stares, takes in a deep breath so her chest rises, tightens, and then zeroes in her gaze on Castle.

He's entranced with her breasts too. His hands flex and clench, his breathing rapid. She steps in closer, curls her fingers around his dark tie, lets her eyes trail up slowly to his face.

He finally meets her gaze, blinking, barely breathing.

Esposito gives a disgusted noise, half turns away, while Ryan clears his throat a few times, stutters as he heads for the driver's side of the van.

Castle is still rooted to his spot, mouth open and inviting.

In her heels, she has only to lean in to breathe against those lips, feel the brush of their noses.

"Guess my milkshake _does_ bring all the boys to the yard."


	3. Chapter 3

**Not All the Songs**

* * *

**Stop Telephoning Me**

* * *

He stiffens at that dirty suggestion and jerks his back to his mother and daughter, the phone pressed against his ear. She must understand by the strangled noise he makes that he's in front of his family because she laughs darkly on the line.

"You have company?" she murmurs.

"That would be a yes."

"Oh. . .fun."

Is she humming? She's humming - that noise she makes under him when he lifts up on his elbows and she's anticipating it.

"Don't be mean, Kate Beckett."

"Is that Kate?" his mother says brightly. He turns back around and gives her a thumbs up, hopes the rest of it doesn't show.

Alexis lifts her head. "Is there a body?"

"Oh, there's a body all right," Kate purrs.

Oh jeez.

"No, no - just the - uh, the case. Ongoing case."

"The ongoing case?" Kate hums on the phone. "Oh, Castle, your lies are getting worse and worse."

"So, you found new evidence?" he says, trying to make it fly. His mother is already turning back to Alexis, so he shuffles back a little bit more. He can't entirely escape because Alexis keeps shooting him these anxious looks - he won't _forget_ her - but he would really like to talk to Kate in private.

"Mm, if I was there, Castle, I'd be finding new evidence."

He coughs loudly to cover the choke of his breath; Alexis gives him a strange look.

"Ah, yes. Well, that's - good," he stumbles out.

"It _is_ good. I have the perfect opportunity, don't I? You're truly stuck. Oh. . .Ricky, the things I want to do to you."

He jerks to his feet and heads for the fridge, opening the door to let the cool air billow over him, dampen the flame in his cheeks. "And did. . .Ryan do that?" he says inanely, hoping to throw her off the best way he knows how. Bringing up co-workers.

"Since we're doing this. . ." she murmurs. "Castle, what are you wearing?"

"No. No, I don't think that's a good idea."

"Those dark boxers - silk - soft on my skin-"

"Really. I think maybe that's best left until tomorrow. When - uh, when we've all gotten a good night's sleep," he says desperately, staring into the bright white of the fridge, trying to control his breathing, trying not to drop the phone.

If he stands here much longer, they're going to figure out something's going on.

"Almost as soft as your-"

"You gotta stop calling me," he blurts out. "Stop calling. Stop-"

"Lady Gaga? Really? That's what you're going with?"

He lets out a puff of air, grateful for the bubble of laughter that clogs his throat. "Ah, I can't hear a thing - you're breaking up on me-"

"You're a dork," she laughs.

"Sorry, I can't hear you. I'm kinda busy-"

"Oh no," Alexis says quickly, touching his arm as she reaches past him for a bottle of water. "Don't let me keep you, Dad. If there's a case. . ." She trails off and bites her lip, glancing to his mother.

He grins at her, feeling a little stupid, a lot triumphant, and he can hear Kate laughing on the other end as well.

"Nope, too late, Alexis. I'm here now - we'll work on your class schedule."

Kate sighs on the other end of the phone, but he can hear the tease in it. He hopes.

Either way, he keeps up the game.

"You should've made some plans with me - you knew that I was free. And now-"

"Dad. Is that Gaga? Why are you quoting a song at Detective Beckett?" Alexis says, her face in a twist of confusion.

"Yes, Rick, why Gaga when there are so many better ones. . .more explicit songs," Kate murmurs in his ear. How in the world can she hear all of this? It's so not fair.

"Dad?"

"Ah, just - um. Trying to be funny."

Alexis lifts an eyebrow and Castle can hear Kate laughing, and really, it is so not fair.

"Dad, go talk to Detective Beckett. We'll do this when you're done."

"Yes, Castle, come _talk_ to me."

She's purring. She really is. He can almost see her face while she does it, the touch of her tongue to her teeth, the way her eyes-

"Dad?"

"Yeah, that's - good idea. It'll just be a minute."

"A minute? I got you that wound up, Castle?"

He grunts and turns quickly, heading for his room. As soon as he gets through the doorway, he lowers his voice. "You are evil."

"Don't you mean wicked? Or naughty?"

"Kate," he groans.

"You alone yet, Rick?"

He stumbles to his room and stares at the bed, suddenly picturing her in it. Vividly, intensely, needfully.

"Yeah, but it's not enough."

She's silent for a moment and he sighs; he's ruined the mood and that was gonna be good, and she can be so very devious with that mouth-

"Want to sneak me in?"

He startles a laugh and grins slowly. "I do."

"How much time do you need?"

"About an hour with Alexis."

"I'll text you when I get close."

"I'll go leave the door unlocked."

"I'll be waiting, Castle."


End file.
